Relation~Shifts
by Patricia C. Myers
Keeping an even keel with our Relationships is tough in turbulent Times.
Connecting the dots to understand unresolved issues finds us deeper in the
issues with a Hop Scotch of Dots. Frustrating at best since everyone has their
fair share of issues. And we find our Selves in a Labyrinth of confusion.
One of the primary issues in Relationships is Trust.
So when the opportunity arrives to delve into relationship issues that need resolve... think of it as going 'Ice Fishing'.
We Know the Ice is thin... so we proceed cautiously... acutely aware of treading
to heavily and potentially 'Cracking' the Ice. We don't venture to far from the shore... since we want the security of what we can 'Bank' on.. while we drop a line in the water to see if we're close to the issues.
If there's a tiny nibble... we feel reassured... prompting a step futher on thin Ice
to try our Luck a little deeper into the issues. With each nuance of success we continue moving further out... until... Whooops... the Ice begins to Crack.
Then we nervously back track.. avoiding the fall into the icy waters of failure.
Truth is it takes real courage to Trust another in a relationship. We want to Trust... but we're having a real struggle with Trusting our own decisions in Life. There are Times we receive more than we bargained for and in rethinking the situation we realize we based our decisions on external approval... rather than our own Truth.
The First Person we have to Trust.... Is Our Self.
And when you do Trust your Self... and the World around you disagrees with your choices in Life... then it's a Real Test. Who am I going to Trust? The opinions of judgement given by those that I am closest to? Or will I Trust what my Heart and Soul guides me to do.
This is the Bottom Line Issue for all relationships. And on a personal level... in any situation where you are dealing with your own inner debate of what choice to make... the Key Factor to consider is... the Ego.
Now.. not Knowing what you use as the definition of the Ego... I can only speak from my own Perception.
We gather our Ego... like a Suit of "Who Am I". Each layer of the Suit is made by those we are the closest to in our Life. The layer is how they See us... Perceive us. It is within the first 15 seconds that we form our Perception of a person... that perception becomes the basis of our Judgement. And with each ensuing encounter... another layer of perception is woven into the original Judgement.
Of course there are many variables to consider at the Time of the encounter. It's entirely possible you remind that person of their worst nightmare.. or their greatest fantasy.
Never the less.. after years of 'Close Encounters' our Ego becomes a strong Suit of Armor. We're comfortable in it.. with respect to the length of Time it took to make the darn thing. We may not like some layers.. but... what the Heck.. it's the best Suit of Armor we've got.
When faced with a decision... what ever it may concern... the first consideration is ... OK.. so what does my Armor tell me... what do I Know about my Self.. as others see me.. because.. that's the only way I really Know I exist.
So.. you go through your check list of 'Who Am I' and review what works
and what doesn't work and reinforce your Boundaries.
But in doing so... inevitably you Circle back to the original Suit of "Who I AM"
and find the Armor is as Strong as ever. The judgements come flooding back...
and they will in Deed... influence your decision. Why.. because it's "Who I Am".
Then one day you will stop and say... "Is that really.. Who I Am?"
And the quest of the Inner Journey to discover your Authentic Self... begins.
Oh.. but this is not a stranger that you are looking for. It's the Heart of Self.
The original Essence of you that was hidden beneath the heavy layers of judgement.
It's the moment of Truth sending waves of warm tingles of Love flowing from the Heart. Resonating in perfect harmony bringing a smile of Knowing.. you've touched your Authentic Self.
It is the Heart of our Essence that flows as the Knowing Feeling that can be so Illusive... and seems always to grapple with the Ego Armor. Then we get it. Ahh.. Ha.. that means this grappling is all about conforming to the Perceptions and Judgements of the Ego Armor. And you realize you've been Seeking Approval... satisfying social consciousness while sacrificing Self.
In that moment of enlightenment... you've peeled away layers of the Ego Armor... Lightening your load of External Judgements and the prevailing Social Consciousness... that operates from the Structure of Survival... and Fear of Social Reprisals.
So when the 'Relation Ship' hits stormy issues that start rocking the boat it's Time to check the Ballast of Life... and consult your Authentic Self.
Oh.. and remember... not everyone has discovered their Truth. They may need a helping hand.
Follow Your Heart
Patturns
Copyright © 2004 Patricia C. Myers.
All Rights Reserved.
Keeping an even keel with our Relationships is tough in turbulent Times.
Connecting the dots to understand unresolved issues finds us deeper in the
issues with a Hop Scotch of Dots. Frustrating at best since everyone has their
fair share of issues. And we find our Selves in a Labyrinth of confusion.
One of the primary issues in Relationships is Trust.
So when the opportunity arrives to delve into relationship issues that need resolve... think of it as going 'Ice Fishing'.
We Know the Ice is thin... so we proceed cautiously... acutely aware of treading
to heavily and potentially 'Cracking' the Ice. We don't venture to far from the shore... since we want the security of what we can 'Bank' on.. while we drop a line in the water to see if we're close to the issues.
If there's a tiny nibble... we feel reassured... prompting a step futher on thin Ice
to try our Luck a little deeper into the issues. With each nuance of success we continue moving further out... until... Whooops... the Ice begins to Crack.
Then we nervously back track.. avoiding the fall into the icy waters of failure.
Truth is it takes real courage to Trust another in a relationship. We want to Trust... but we're having a real struggle with Trusting our own decisions in Life. There are Times we receive more than we bargained for and in rethinking the situation we realize we based our decisions on external approval... rather than our own Truth.
The First Person we have to Trust.... Is Our Self.
And when you do Trust your Self... and the World around you disagrees with your choices in Life... then it's a Real Test. Who am I going to Trust? The opinions of judgement given by those that I am closest to? Or will I Trust what my Heart and Soul guides me to do.
This is the Bottom Line Issue for all relationships. And on a personal level... in any situation where you are dealing with your own inner debate of what choice to make... the Key Factor to consider is... the Ego.
Now.. not Knowing what you use as the definition of the Ego... I can only speak from my own Perception.
We gather our Ego... like a Suit of "Who Am I". Each layer of the Suit is made by those we are the closest to in our Life. The layer is how they See us... Perceive us. It is within the first 15 seconds that we form our Perception of a person... that perception becomes the basis of our Judgement. And with each ensuing encounter... another layer of perception is woven into the original Judgement.
Of course there are many variables to consider at the Time of the encounter. It's entirely possible you remind that person of their worst nightmare.. or their greatest fantasy.
Never the less.. after years of 'Close Encounters' our Ego becomes a strong Suit of Armor. We're comfortable in it.. with respect to the length of Time it took to make the darn thing. We may not like some layers.. but... what the Heck.. it's the best Suit of Armor we've got.
When faced with a decision... what ever it may concern... the first consideration is ... OK.. so what does my Armor tell me... what do I Know about my Self.. as others see me.. because.. that's the only way I really Know I exist.
So.. you go through your check list of 'Who Am I' and review what works
and what doesn't work and reinforce your Boundaries.
But in doing so... inevitably you Circle back to the original Suit of "Who I AM"
and find the Armor is as Strong as ever. The judgements come flooding back...
and they will in Deed... influence your decision. Why.. because it's "Who I Am".
Then one day you will stop and say... "Is that really.. Who I Am?"
And the quest of the Inner Journey to discover your Authentic Self... begins.
Oh.. but this is not a stranger that you are looking for. It's the Heart of Self.
The original Essence of you that was hidden beneath the heavy layers of judgement.
It's the moment of Truth sending waves of warm tingles of Love flowing from the Heart. Resonating in perfect harmony bringing a smile of Knowing.. you've touched your Authentic Self.
It is the Heart of our Essence that flows as the Knowing Feeling that can be so Illusive... and seems always to grapple with the Ego Armor. Then we get it. Ahh.. Ha.. that means this grappling is all about conforming to the Perceptions and Judgements of the Ego Armor. And you realize you've been Seeking Approval... satisfying social consciousness while sacrificing Self.
In that moment of enlightenment... you've peeled away layers of the Ego Armor... Lightening your load of External Judgements and the prevailing Social Consciousness... that operates from the Structure of Survival... and Fear of Social Reprisals.
So when the 'Relation Ship' hits stormy issues that start rocking the boat it's Time to check the Ballast of Life... and consult your Authentic Self.
Oh.. and remember... not everyone has discovered their Truth. They may need a helping hand.
Follow Your Heart
Patturns
Copyright © 2004 Patricia C. Myers.
All Rights Reserved.
posted by Patturns at 10:33 AM
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